


Our Fears Don't Define Us

by Attorney C (arh581958)



Series: #MarveyWeek [3]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: #MarveyWeek, Day 4: Graveyard, M/M, accidental feels, also kinda fluffy, kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-28 15:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arh581958/pseuds/Attorney%20C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey Specter was afraid to fall in-love. Mike Ross was afraid to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harvey Specter was afraid to fall in-love.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [#MarveyWeek](http://fuckyeahmarvey.tumblr.com/post/131795954856/sal-si-puedes-fuckyeahmarvey-marvey) on tumblr.

Bottle in hand, Harvey walked quietly. Wilting flowers were scatted in various stages of decay, a stark contrast against the white snow. He made his way through the long silent path to his father's grave.

**GORDON SPECTER  
** _Loving Son, Husband, and Father_

Harvey scoffed at the word.

"Why?" was the first thing of his lips "Why did you let her do it?"  

 

***

 

Harvey Specter was afraid to fall in-love.

How could he not? When he was sixteen, he caught his mother cheating on his father. He kept the secret for two whole years because he loved her--and every day was anguish. He watched her bed man after man, and occasionally a woman, but said nothing.

He loved his father so he remained silent. He had not wanted to hurt the man he looked up to, his hero, his _dad_ \--until the day that he did. He was eighteen he confessed the truth.

Gordon Specter had married a groupie and he never disillusioned himself of that reality. He had known of his wife's indiscretions the whole time. Harvey had demanded why.

"Because I loved her." was Gordon's only answer.

People lie. People cheat. People love.

Harvey was only eighteen when he learned the cold hard reality.

He vowed never to fall in-love.

Love was the enemy. Love would be his demise.

There were many women in his life, one or two men, all of them were just bodies to keep him warm, companionship to keep him entertained, fallacies to make him happy---but they were never enough.

He had an ache, deep inside, that he would not allow to heal.

 

***

 

Years later.

Bottle in hand, Harvey strode through the freshly manicured path and the grass was freshly weeded. It was an odd time of year to visit. He strode to his father's grave, humming the last track on his father's old album.

**GORDON SPECTER  
** _Loving Son, Husband, and Father_

He eyed the word, pensive.

" _Dad_ " he said, voice croaking. He had not uttered the word for more than seven years, not even in the secluded recess of his mind. "I met someone... you'll be surprised... I..."

 

***

 

Harvey never let himself fall in-love.

Then Mike Ross came to his life. He had caught Harvey by surprise.

Mike was brash, brilliant, and sometimes completely stupid. He wasn't afraid. He challenged Harvey from the get-go; he questioned, he learned, and he grew. He wasn't a Harvard stooge, a puppet associate, or an office drawn. He was just--

He  had become Harvey's everything.

It scared Harvey shitless.

 

***

 

Harvey took out a glass goblets and the bottle of wine. He poured each a third full. He placed one on top of the tombstone. He stares at the words-- _loving son, father--_ "I want to tell you about him."

"He's a _he_... He's ten years younger... and he wants to become a really good lawyer. You... you would've have liked him." He spoke, in a gentle affectionate manner.

 "We--we work together. He was my associate... but not anymore. He just made junior partner and he's--unlike _anything_ I ever expected. He's one hell of a crazy idiot and he.. well..I--I  wouldn't _change_ a thing about him."

Harvey whirled the wine in his glass before he took a sip. The breeze picked up. A hand slides into his. There was a lean frame that sagged against him and a chin dipping on his shoulder.

"What were you talking about?" Mike asked, non-invasive. He sounded like a man who would understand whether or not Harvey answered.

"I wasn't talking" it wasn't an reply, in so much as a challenge.

"You were saying something" Mike pointed out with a pout. "--before I got here."

"It's nothing" Harvey waved him off. "Here" he said, offering the third glass of wine. "It's tradition."

Mike looked at him quizzically but accepted with a small smile. He drank tentatively, eyes never leaving Harvey's over the rim.

"Dad" Harvey spoke up suddenly. He gestured over. "This is Mike"

\-- _and I think I might love him_.

Harvey Specter finally let himself fall in-love.

He's still afraid to say it but it's a start.


	2. Mike Ross was afraid to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this is Mike's story.

Mike visited his family as often as his time would let him. It wasn't often. He was lucky if he made it twice a year---once for a birthday and the other was usually after Halloween. It pained him to visit because the three gravestones reminded him of everything he had lost.

 **Edith Ross**  
_Loving daughter, wife, mother, grandmother_

**JAMES ROSS  
** _Loving son, husband, father_

**NINA ROSS  
** _Loving daughter, wife, mother_

Mike laid their graves with a bouquet of flowers one by one.

 

***

 

Mike Ross was afraid to be happy.

To be fair, he's life had never really been that easy. He has good parents--nice, kind, loving parents. They always took him out to the park on the weekends. They never missed a PTA meeting. They were happy--until the day they died in a tragic car accident when he was ten years old.

He learned to push through the pain. His grandmother was there for him. He was on his way to becoming a lawyer in college but he did something incredibly stupid and threw it all away.

Mike was given a second chance.

Working as a fake lawyer in Pearson Hardman-turned-Darby-turned-Specter was hard. Each day was tougher than the next, harder than the previous one, a bigger lie than before. He pushed through and braved the uphill battle.

He thought, maybe, this was finally his chance to be happy. He earned more than he spent. For the first time in his life, he has savings in his bank account. This was it, he thought, he was going to make it.

He brought Grammy an apartment in Manhattan--but he never gave it to her. She died.

Happiness was not meant for him.

At twenty-seven, Mike gave up trying.

Happiness was a dream, a wish, a figment of one's imagination.

 

***

 

Years later.

Mike has not visited in over three years. Life had been difficult for him--the move, the firm, the promotion. He had no idea what to do. It was all so new! He wanted to tell them, to share to them, how life has been for him.

 **Edith Ross**  
_Loving daughter, wife, mother, grandmother_

**JAMES ROSS  
** _Loving son, husband, father_

**NINA ROSS  
** _Loving daughter, wife, mother_

Today Mike has Cali Lilies. He laid it on their graves one by one then sat down.

"I'm getting married..." he told them.

 

***

 

It did not exist in the real world.

Not for people like him---people like Mike.

Then Harvey Specter paraded into his life. He has caught Mike by surprise.

Harvey was _Harvey_ ; Mike could never be able to articulate it. Harvey started out as stranger, a reluctant friend, an unexpected best friend, and then the most wondrous lover. He was different from the heartless attack dog that he pretended to be.

Harvey was the most loving person that Mike had ever met.

Yet, who was most careful of his heart.

Mike want to care for him--to love him, to live for him, to be his sunshine.

It scared Mike shitless.

 

***

 

"...not to Rachel" he explained. He wrapped his arms around his legs and propped his chin atop his knees. "I'm marrying my boss... erhm, used to be my boss. Grammy, you met him before... ya, know... he's the one you called---what was it again? ahh, right--hard ass. He's not such a hard ass after all."

Mike cannot help but smile into his arms.

"He's helped me a lot but I'm not marrying him because of that!" he waves indignantly. "He... he's a whole lot nicer than he lets on. He doesn't like showing it to people. He thinks it's a weakness... but I think it's his superpower. Waaaay better than Batman's."

He picked on the weed by his feet. "And I..."

Arms wrapped around him, long and lean. "You what?" Harvey asked. He pressed himself against Mike's back and nuzzled Mike's neck.

Mike blushes. "Nothing, I just..." he glances down beside him. "What are those?"

"A promise" Harvey replied. It was three separate bouquets of pink roses and white clovers. "To you, to them."

"But why?"

Harvey's laughter reverberates against Mike's back. "For a genius, you can be an idiot sometimes." he said then kissed Mike on the cheek.

"Can we stay?"

"Of course" Harvey nodded. "For as long as you like. We're free for the weekend."

Mike hummed and leaned back.

 _\--I'm happy_.

He wasn't afraid anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to our lost loved ones who have long since gone. May you always be remembered in fond light.

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2: featuring Mike will come out on November 1 because it's special from where I come from. 
> 
> I don't want to make a series. So I'm trying them all together through the 'inspired by' option. 
> 
> [Got a prompt? ](http://arh581958.tumblr.com/) Inspire me!


End file.
